By Sherrie B. Miller

Jewish Dating Time

Hashem said to Moshe and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying, “This month shall be for you the beginning of the months, it shall be for you the first of the months of the year.” (Shmot 12:1-2)

This mitzvah of establishing time in creation of the calendar and sanctifying time through holy-days, is the first mitzvah given to the Jews as a nation.

The words “for you,” appear twice in one verse, indicating the significance of time in its relationship to the Jewish People.

According to the Rav Yaakov Ariel, Hashsem’s intention in charging us with the responsibility of establishing the calendar and living within its constraints is meant to teach us the value of time. Time is something to be cherished and taken advantage of, in total contradistinction of the Western concept of time as something that we often kill….

Moreover, we are empowered not only to make time count, but to sanctify and make it holy by engaging in worthwhile endeavors that will cause Hashem’s name to be revealed to the world.

The Korban Pessach is an avoda, a mandatory service which is immediately mandated by Hashem at the onset of the Geula. This is to teach us that it is not enough to run away from slavery to freedom, but rather to understand that freedom is a just a means to and end; true freedom and total devotion to Hashem free us from idle pursuits that can be likened to “idol worship.”

Through this avoda, we submit to the Will of Hashem and accept “ol malchut shamayim.” The Talmud states that the main characteristic of a truly free man is one who is constantly engaged in a Torah lifestyle.

The modern world’s pursuit of freedom for its own sake has created a backlash noted by an escape from responsibility. As Jews, we must aspire to much greater goals, aims, ambitions and scrutiny of life’s ultimate purpose.

Many get caught up in lengthy career studies, “workaholism, pursuing money, fame and power. This trend is side tracking us from our primary task of Marriage. Marriage is a framework in which we become more efficient, and more productive, enabling us to improve and become the person that we were meant to be. The Talmud states that a man is not whole until he is married. This can be compared to driving a car in low gear.

Parshat Bo emphasizes the eating of Matza and the prohibition of chametz on Pessach. Chametz refers to missed opportunities and warns: “mitzva ha’baah leyadcha, al tachmitzena.”

Matza’s concept is the opposite, symbolizing the alacrity, (zrizut) needed in keeping it flat. Not just on Pessah, but throughout the year we must increase our efforts to truly free to choose the path of Torah.

According to Rav Chaim Sabato, the alacrity and rush involved in the Jews eating the Matza was designed by G-d as a safety net for fear that if they lingered any longer after being freed and losing that slave status, they would readily adopt the mores and values of Egyptian culture, before they had the Sinai experience of binding them to their Relationship with Hashem.

Rav Kook notes that in the final redemption, may it be speedily in our days, the redemption will not come suddenly as it did in Egypt but will be born out of a process of the nation’s maturity, growth and adequate preparation.

Rav Kook asserts that skipping necessary stages in the creation of a nation will engender many difficulties. This was the case of the Egyptian redemption; it took place with unnatural speed and did not allow time for the Jews to really digest and understand the goals. This led to repeated crises and unfortunate challenges during the journey through the desert. In addition, the Nation made no personal investment in this process to make it their own.

In choosing a life partner, we must not be hasty, but we must also be truly dedicated to making that ultimate commitment in order that we not miss opportunities that may have turned out to be an excellent choice. Marriage is not about choosing the perfect person, or being more in love, but rather in having the necessary preparation and learning to build a strong and lasting marriage.

Lori Lurie and I have created “Choice of the Heart” ( to empower nearly weds and newlyweds with experiential workshops that give couples the opportunity to explore the major issues of marriage (integrated with Torah sources), before they become issues, and teach the vital skills for relationship building.

As Dr. David Olson author of Empowering Couples states:

“People don’t prepare to fail, people fail to prepare!”

About author:
Sherrie B. Miller is a Jewish Matchmaker on and works with Jewish Singles all over the world. She is an educational guidance counselor, group leader, pre-marital coach, matchmaker and Judaic Studies teacher. Sherrie is dedicated to promoting and enhancing emotional intelligence and communication skills in conjunction with Torah values.

Sherrie received her educational counseling degree from the Michlalah in Bayit Vegan and an M.A. in Education and Counseling from Touro College, Jerusalem, Israel. Sherrie also holds a B.A. in Speech Pathology and Audiology from Brooklyn College and a B.Sc. from Yeshiva University in Jewish Education. Sherrie is certified by Midreshet Emunah and is accredited by the Rabbanut of Israel, to be a pre-marital couple’s counselor and Kallah teacher.

Before coming to Israel in 1989 from Great Neck, New York, Sherrie taught Judaic Studies at the North Shore Hebrew Academy. Sherrie also educated affiliated and unaffiliated adults through the “Project Identity” outreach program under the directorship of Rabbi Yaakov Lerner. Sherrie trained individuals and couples in the laws of Kashrut, Guidelines of Parenting, Parshat Shavua and Pirkei Avot.

In her work as a Guidance Counselor in the national religious “Mamad” school, "Yehuda Halevi", Sherrie instructed life skill workshops to students, parents and teachers, with a focus on communication, conflict resolution and anger management. She also leads support groups for children of divorce.

Sherrie is certified by the Life Center and leads Parenting workshops based on the Faber/Mazlish workshops on, “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk”

Sherrie is an executive board member of the Emunah World Zionist Organization, Mibreishit, led by Rav Motti Alon, and Nishmat led my Rabbanit Hanna Henkin.

Sherrie’s diverse background in counseling and teaching, combined with torah principles and values contribute to the depth and quality of her success with clients. Lessons drawn from her own life transitions make her coaching perspective uniquely inspirational. Sherrie helps individuals clarify their goals and take masterful action steps to reach them. Sherrie is professionally known for her guidance in the educational system as well as her outstanding capabilities teaching interpersonal relationship skills to groups and individuals.

Having made a number of successful matches resulting in marriage, Sherrie volunteers as a matchmaker for SawYouAtSinai, an internet matchmaking site.

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