I am not a big believer in this "non-exclusive" idea. It sounds like avoidance.
I am all for friendship and socializing, but that has nothing to do with marriage.
If a person wants to get married, serious dating needs to be conducted.
Regarding the person's complaint about "a wall", in relationships, all complaints
and concerns no matter how illogical they seem, must be treated with respect. That
means, one should continue to ask many questions and try hard to understand the
nature of the complaint. "Understand" does not mean agree. It means that you reach
a point where you can fully see how the other person subjectively experiences the
Was this through a matchmaker? If so, sometimes people follow strict protocol and
only discuss with the matchmaker. If not, what do you really have to lose by being
honest and calling him and telling him you had a great time, and asking if he is
interested in getting together again? If he hems and haws, or he rejects you outright
it will hurt but you won't have the agony of doubt.
Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, CSW co-authors a weekly column in the Jewish Press on religion,
relationships and parenting, along with his wife Chaya Feuerman, CSW. The Feuermans
also have authored a book, titled "How to Have Fun Without Getting into Trouble:
Essays on Relationships, Parenting and the Self" available through Rowman and Littlefield,
inc. In addition, Simcha serves as Director of Community Services at Ohel Children’s
Home and Family Services. He received training in family therapy from the Philadelphia
Child Guidance Center and maintains a private psychotherapy practice in Queens,
New York, where he provides individual therapy, family therapy and couples counseling.
To email a question to Simcha please click
(Please note: All questions asked to Simcha will be published on the site with
the pseudo names.)
Dating advice is made available through a joint Ohel Family Services & SawYouAtSinai relationship.
SawYouAtSinai combines Jewish matchmaking with online Jewish
dating. Jewish singles can use a shadchan, a Jewish matchmaker, to send them shidduchim
(matches) so they can find their bashert. Our matchmakers have made successful matches
between Jewish singles internationally including: Atlanta, Chicago, Florida, Los
Angeles, New York, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Montreal, London, Manchester, England,
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