May 25, 2008
Dude, where's my bashert?
Marc Goldmann wants you to get married. Plus 11 surefire ways to make yourself a Jew worth dating featuring law school, dating Gentiles, and joining the Israeli bobsled team.
by Benyamin Cohen


IT'S A RECENT MONDAY MORNING and Marc Goldmann is a bit jet-lagged. He's on his way back to New York from a trip to South America and he's stopped off in Atlanta for just a few hours to meet with some local matchmakers.

No, he's not looking for a soulmate. Although many single Jewish woman have swooned over the 35-year-old Columbia grad and career entrepreneur. But, alas, Goldmann is happily involved in a serious relationship. So why the matchmaker visit? Well, to be perfectly honest, Goldmann wants you to get married.


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Letter from the editor

Sawyouatsinai.com

With his new Web site, Sawyouatsinai.com, Goldmann is literally reinventing the often sordid and tawdry world of Internet dating. On his new site, you don't meet other singles; instead you choose from a list of more than 90 matchmakers to act as your agent. Son this prevents, in Goldmann's words, "the 50-year-old guy from contacting the 20 year old woman."

And his paradigm shift seems to be working. The site has only been up for a few months and, without any advertising, has already broke the 2600 member barrier.

"Many people today use a real estate agent to help them find a house, a head hunter to help them find a job, why not a matchmaker to help them find a husband?," says Goldmann, relaxing later at a local coffee shop.

Dressed in a light blue button down Polo shirt, no tie, and blue Docker pants, the tall, thin Goldmann is charismatic and passionate about his mission. "What makes our approach more advanced, more private, and significantly more personal is our unique combination of human and machine," he says "We offer the best of both worlds."

No longer are the days when you just throw up a JDate profile and wait for the love letters to start pouring in. With Goldmann's system, users are forced -- and that's a good thing -- to be proactive in their search. And unlike other sites, Sawyouatsinai members will have to take down their profile is they start seeing someone special.

Goldmann is taking his show on the road -- visiting cities across the country spreading the Sawyouatsinai gospel. He's recently spoken to singles groups and at seminars aimed at helping Jewish never-marrieds.

"At the end of the day, I want people to get married. If someone gets married because of their involvement on the site, I'll be ecstatic," he says. "If I can get people married quicker, that means we're being successful."

***

Signing up for Sawyouatsinai is only the first part of the equation. Once you score those dates, you've got to make sure you don't scare the other person away. Our crack staff here at Jewsweek has come up with 11 guaranteed tricks of the trade to help you be a better Jew and score that perfect spouse.

Not all of them are dating related. So if you're already spoken for, the list can still be useful. It'll help you be a better person and, hey, isn't that what reading Jewsweek is all about?

So follow these simple rules and see where it gets you. If all else fails, well, that's your problem.

1. Date a gentile, then dump them, claiming you've found a renewed appreciation for the sexiness of your own tribe. Market t-shirt, have 15 minutes of fame, move on to cushy marketing gig.

2. Get off your tuches. Unless you're a rock star (and we highly doubt you are), nobody's knocking down your door begging to date you. Get up off your couch and go to a singles' event. For God's sake, go to synagogue. Believe it or not, that's where all the good ones are hanging out.

3. Get a law degree. Yeah, we know, it takes three years and a lifetime of loan repayments, but it's worth it. You'll be able to provide for your wife and your future in-laws will shep a lot of nachas.

4. Learn Yiddish. Not only so you can understand the above sentence, but because it'll also give you a cool uber hipster veneer. Add some funky think back glasses and you'll be giving new meaning to the term pseudo-intellectual. What self-respecting Jewish girl wouldn't want that?

5. Get an opinion about the Middle East conflict. Stop relying on your parents for an outdated one. It'll make you sound more thought-provoking on a date and will do wonders to curb people's opinion of you as the intellectual equivalent of a doorknob.

6. Give charity. For centuries, our sages have taught that throwing some bling bling in the pushke will help you get what you want in life. And stop saying you don't have any money to give. We know how much you spent on that mp3 player.

7. Look like a mensch. Man, sometimes we wonder if we're our own worst enemy. C'mon, how hard it is it to iron your shirt and shine your shoes. Simple stuff, people. And, for those of you with coffee-colored teeth, a hour whitening process from Britesmile will keep your teeth shining for at least two years. Tell them Jewsweek sent you and see where it gets you.

8. Meet a Holocaust survivor before it's too late. You think the dating world is rough? Speak to someone who spent some time in Auschwitz. That'll teach you a lesson in suffering.

9. Subscribe to a Jewish print publication that isn't too hokey or pretentious. Oh wait, there isn't one.

10. Join the Israeli bobsled team ... or, at the very least, stop making fun of them. It's all about culture and expanding your horizons.

11. Speaking of expanding your horizons, buy a plane ticket. What kind of chutzpah do you have to think that God actually placed your future spouse within a 10 block radius of your apartment? She could be in a different state, a different coast, or a different continent altogether. So get out your atlas, and start exploring.

Benyamin Cohen is the editor of Jewsweek Magazine and is currently authoring a book tentatively titled How to Find a Wife in 100 Dates.
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