#257 Judith Rothman (Brooklyn, New York)
& Yitzchok Goldson (Brooklyn, New York)
Judith and Yitzchok were both 59 and living in Brooklyn, but only met when they took their dating online.
What was your impression of Yitzchok on the phone?
J: Very positive. He sounded like the kind of person I’d like to get to know.
What did you do on your first date?
J: We took a walk on the boardwalk.
Did you know right away that Yitzchok was your match?
J: I knew by the 2nd or 3rd date. We both knew and I wouldn’t have continued if I didn’t feel that way.
How does your spouse compare to the image of the person you thought you’d marry?
J: It wasn’t the first marriage for either of us. Neither of us were looking for specifics. I just wanted a mensch, someone frum and with same hashkafa. We come from extremely different backgrounds. I’m Litvish and he is Chasidish and I never assumed I’d marry a chassid! But this wasn’t a barrier because we were on the same levels of frumkeit and we both wanted to grow and we were hashkaficly the same.
How long did you date before becoming engaged?
J: 2.5 months and it was understood between both of us by the first month that we would be getting engaged.
What was the proposal like?
J: We went to a restaurant in Brooklyn. He asked me “is this formal enough for you? Will you marry me?”
I said “what?! You’re not going to get down on one knee?”
He said mazel tov kallah and I said mazel tov chosson.
Aside from SYAS what other ways did you employ to meet people?
J: I didn’t try any other sites. I tried Invei Hagefen, but found no one from there. I also met people through word of mouth. I only tried 5 people from SYAS.
How long would you say you were seriously looking for someone?
J: 3 months
What were the biggest challenges that you feel you went through while dating?
J: He was worried because he had kids from before. He was specifically worried about one of his kids, but now ironically that is the one I am closest with. I was worried about what chasidish is. Nothing major was bad, but it was hard because I was in aveilut (mourning) for my father. Also, I am an almanah (widow) which was a little conflicting. Its not that I felt guilty, but he was someone different.
Did you date a lot of people before finding each other?
J: For him-10 years! For me only the 5th and the others I only went on one date with.
Did you have any hesitation about using an online dating site?
J: I would not have done anything but SYAS. My brother told me to try it out because it is very successful. I only used it because there were shadchanim. I would not have exposed myself to the world. I like it because it’s discrete, and I encouraged a lot of people to sign up. I am a kallah teacher and one of my students got her friend to sign up as well.
What would you say to encourage others to try online dating?
J: I had lots of success. I didn’t get any weirdos or wackos to go out with! The people I went out with before were NICE men.
I like it because it’s discrete and you’re not exposed to people.
Judith and Yitzchok were married on December 30th, 2007. They continue to live in Brooklyn.