It is almost incomprehensible
to us to imagine Bnei Yisrael demanding to build a golden calf, just as Moshe is
about to return to them with the “luchot habrit.” How could this be?
Where was their faith and belief in Hashem and recognition of the miracles that
He had performed for them in Egypt? What about the fact that they’d just experienced
the most spectacular experience imaginable? They witnessed the thunder, the lightning,
the “fireworks” at Matan Torah, where Hashem actually revealed Himself even to the
simplest maidservant? How was it feasible that the Jewish Nation could fall so dramatically
from such heights?
Shira Smiles quotes the Rav Aharon Soloveichik who explains that there are two ways
in which a person can absorb and possess new knowledge; the first way is called
“kibush.” This is compulsory or imposed acceptance that is caused by an overload
of information. It is a drain on the senses and the impressions do not last.
The first luchot were acquired in this fashion descending through extraordinary
and unique measures. Hashem basically forced Bnei Yisrael to receive His Torah by
opening their hearts and giving them the extraordinary ability to become Prophets
in their own right. However, the incredible experience was short-lived and all the
people, including the maidservants ultimately returned to their previous status
prior to the Revelation.
The second form of receiving a profound teaching is through “chazaka,” a tranquil
process of applying oneself and making the supreme effort to integrate the information.
This is the reason, that the second luchot, were given calmly and quietly.
Hashem tells Moshe “Psol Lecha,” “carve them for yourself, make a personal investment
in receiving my Torah.” We too, are meant to carve within us and create a space
whereby we become vessels to receive the Torah without the dazzling fanfare, but
rather through cultivating the process of free choice. Bnei Yisrael continuously
chooses through the generations of our Rabbis, to become Hashem’s Bride, as it were.
Similarly, the initial dating experience wherein one “hears bells” and “sees fireworks,”
will not sustain itself. The impact of a meaningful encounter with a potential spouse
is a process that requires an investment of time and the ability to see beyond the
surface. When we take the time and focus on a deeper reality, we view each person
we meet as a multi faceted diamond with many talents and unique attributes. Similarly,
the key to becoming a vessel for receiving Hashem’s blessings is appreciating His
goodness and being invested in a meaningful soul relationship and not just the outward
involvement in the conscientious observance of mitzvoth.
The parallel is clear vis-a –vis forging romantic relationships. Seeing the pnimiut,
most inward aspects of each other, delving deeper into a person’s astonishing soul,
beyond the digital photo and a dry profile is a step in the incredible process of
finding true love! As Gila Manolson states in her book Head to Heart: “If love comes
from appreciating goodness, it needn’t just happen-you can make it happen. Love
is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone
has some). If you can do this easily, you’ll love easily…..because love is a choice.”
It is so effortless to click “decline” when we receive a match, yet often times
“accept” can make the amazing difference between finding my bashert, or not!
Sherrie B. Miller is a Jewish matchmaker on SawYouAtSinai
and a dating coach in Jerusalem. She received her counseling degree from the Michlala
in Jerusalem and an M.A. in Jewish Education from Touro College. Sherrie is certified
by Midreshet Emunah and is accredited by the Rabbanut of Israel, to be a pre-marital
couple’s counselor and Kallah teacher.
This Jewish Dating Column is brought to you by SawYouAtSinai, the Jewish Matchmaking
service. Articles are often written by Jewish matchmakers, to help Jewish singles
PARSHAT TEZAVEH: A LOVE THAT
MAKE YOUR PROFILE COUNT
THE STORY OF CHANUKA: REVEALING
THE LIGHT WITHIN!
Parshat Yayishlach: Communication-
The Key to Intimacy.
GIVING OR GETTING?
PARSHAT NOACH: HARMONY IN DIVERSITY
PARSHAT KI TAVO: SELF-NULLIFICATION
PARSHAT RE’EH: CHOICES!
TU B’AV: THE JEWISH VALENTINE’S
TISHA B’AV: MOURNING THE DESTRUCTION
OF OUR TEMPLE
PARSHAT BALAK: UNITE OR UNTIE:
IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE “I” (EYE)!
PARSHAT CHUKAT: CONTROL ANGER
BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU!
PARSHAT KORACH: “IF YOU SPOT
IT, YOU GOT IT!”
PARSHAT SHLACH: THE ATTITUDE
PARSHAT B’HAALOTCHA: LEARN TO
LAUGH AT YOURSELF
SHAVUOT: ” NA’ASSE V’NISHMA”
COMMITMENT COMES FIRST!
Parshat Behar: Dating Etiquette
PARSHAT EMOR: A LEAP OF FAITH
THE POWER OF SPEECH: PARSHAT
PASSOVER: “A STORY OF LOVE”
PURIM: FINDING TRUE HAPPINESS!
JEWISH DATING: THE ART OF LISTENING
FOR JEWISH SINGLES
JEWISH DATING: INNER BEAUTY
IS THE REAL BEAUTY
Finding Your Beshert
The Rise, Fall and Subsequent
Rise of the Jewish Matchmaker, otherwise known as The Shadchan
“OnlySimchas” for Jewish Singles
Jewish Singles: Challenges for
Jewish Singles Dating today
Jewish Dating 101: You reached
the age for “Jewish Dating” for marriage, now what
Love and Beauty
Make your profile count
In The Ballpark
Are You in Love with Love?
How to Find Your Soul Mate:
Secrets from the Kabbalah
The Silent Revolution of the
To "Settle" or Hold Out for
Happily Ever After
‘My Matchmaker Ignored Me!’
And Other Ways I Can Empathize
Cliffs Notes for the Jewish
The Ten Commandments of Dating