MAKE YOUR PROFILE COUNT
By SYAS Matchmaker Caryn (Lasar) Ashapa
This is it. You have
one chance to make a good impression. Someone is going to look at your profile and
based on what he or she sees, this person is going to make a decision whether to
meet you or not.
Similar to when one applies for a job. Applicants know they must make their resumes
as good as possible because based on what employers see in it, a decision will be
made whether you will get called for an interview.
Don’t think to yourself, I am who I am…either they like me or they don’t. Employers
get hundreds of resumes and must sift through them and select the ones that look
the best – perhaps glossing over a better candidate with a poor resume. Likewise,
people who are dating often get many, many suggestions and must sift through them
Don’t waste your opportunity. Make it count.
The following are some tips that will help you prepare your “dating resume.”
- Post a picture. Most people want to see a picture. Eventually the person is going
to see you anyway. Additionally, it’s very helpful for matchmakers to be able to
put a face with the profile. You’ll be noticed and remembered more.
- Post a good picture.
- Don’t post a picture of you with your family or a group of friends so people can’t
tell which one is you. Crop the picture so that it’s only of you.
- Post a recent photo – not one from ten years ago.
- Don’t post a picture where you’re standing so far back no one can see your face.
- Don’t post blurry pictures.
- Smile! Everyone wants to date a positive person…Show that side of yourself in your
- Get yourself looking your best and have someone (a professional is fine too) take
a good close-up photo. Lighter backgrounds usually work better. It’s one of the
most important parts of your profile. It’s worth investing the time.
Select the ones you think are best. Then ask another person to review them and give
you feedback before submitting them.
- Try and describe yourself with examples that demonstrate your main traits. Don’t
just list off a bunch of adjectives. Think of examples that show why those adjectives
apply to you. Look at the difference below:
- “I’m nice, sweet, kind, intelligent, fun, and friendly.”
- “I love meeting new people. I enjoy discussing politics and having intellectual
debates. My curiosity is not only intellectual; it also leads me to enjoy adventures
in hiking, traveling, and sailing. Most of my happiest moments, however, are found
when I find a way to surprise someone with something that brings them joy.”
- “Large gatherings excite me. There’s always someone new and interesting to meet.
I enjoy discussing politics and having intellectual debates. (My latest one was
on alternative medicine.) My curiosity is not only intellectual; it also leads me
to enjoy adventures in hiking, traveling, and sailing. Western Europe is my favorite
so far. Most of my happiest moments, however, are found when I find a way to surprise
someone with something that brings them joy. Even if it’s something small…like doing
the dishes for my roommate.”
These descriptions could be of the same person, but notice how big the difference
is in the picture each one paints. For someone who has never met the potential candidate,
the difference is enormous. Remember that you have to make someone who has never
met you before be able to “get” you as much as possible.
- Don’t post an incomplete profile and write, “I’ll finish later.” Take the time to
finish your resume before submitting it. Imagine submitting an incomplete resume
to an employer with a note that says you’ll finish it later. The same thing goes
for writing, “To find out more, you’ll have to meet me.”
- Be honest. If you’re looking to get married and build a good relationship, it’s
not good to start out with a lie.
- Differentiate between “needs” and “wants.” If you are 5’0” female, do you really
“need” a 5’9” male or is that your preference? Everyone has certain things that
are deal-breakers. Make sure you make clear which ones are yours. For things that
aren’t, list them as preferences. When you are clear on these things, it will help
prevent suggestions you feel are not on target and open you up to receiving suggestions
you might not have gotten before that you actually would consider.
- Don’t make your wish list too long. If you list off about 20 things that you want,
it comes across as if you’re looking for Mr./Ms. Perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist.
- If you are overweight and you write that you will not accept someone who is overweight,
it seems to be a double standard.
- Be realistic with your age ranges. If you are a 45-year-old male and you write that
you will only consider someone who is 25-33, you’ve really narrowed down your choices.
Which is ok. It’s your choice. But realize that most women in that age range don’t
want to go out with someone that old. (There are exceptions to this.) Make sure
you adjust your expectations as to how many suggestions you expect to receive since
you chose to narrow your range.
- Spell-check your profile. You would do the same for a resume.
- List references that know you well.
- Some questions that might be helpful to ask yourself are:
- What am I passionate about?
- What are some of the first things people think of when they think of me?
- What are my strengths?
- What am I most proud of?
- What brings me the most happiness?
What are my goals in life?
Overall, the point of your “dating resume” is to help matchmakers and potential
candidates be able to get a good sense of who you really are. You have one page
which will be read in a few minutes to accomplish this. Take the time to make it